Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Lord of the Red Sox 3, The Mines of Tropicana

Continuation of the 2007 Red Sox story that I tied to the Lord of the Rings. Sox were starting a 3 game series in Tampa Bay.

We last left our heroes as they were leaving Fenway park. Pedroia had taken the burden of carrying the Ring of the AL East and hopes to deliver it to Yankee Stadium. The Evil power of the AL East leader has caused the Red Sox to stop hitting and player after player has gotten hurt. The Council of Francona decided the best course would be to forfit the Ring of the AL East, take the Wild Card and win the World Series far from home.

The Mines of Tropicana


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Pedroia: Tek, is our next series home or away?


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Tek: Away. In Tampa Bay.


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BigPapi: Soon Master Lugo, you will enjoy the fabled ground rules of Tropicana Field as a visiting player. Walkways overhead that are in play, Lighting fast Astroturf, and empty seats as far as the eye can see.

The Red Sox make the trip safely, but find themselves locked out of the Tropicana Field visitor's entrance. They forgot the secret password they were to say in order to gain access. Why they only gave the password to Manny escapes everyone.

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Tek: I once knew every type of fruit in all the tounges of Spanish, English and Japaneese.


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Manny: What are you going to do then?


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Tek: Have Theo trade you to Tampa and sneak in when they take you Manny! That will at least give me a little peace and quite from foolish questions…


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Pedroia: It's a riddle. "Speak, Juice, and enter." What is that really bitter kind of juice that explains how we have been playing as of late?


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Tek: Lemon? (The door opens for the players)

As they enter the Trop…Rocco Baldelli rushes the door attempting to get back into the park, having been long ago been discarded by the Devil Rays.


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Rocco: RRAAAAARRWWW!


The Red Sox manage to close the door before Rocco can enter the building.

The team gets dressed and takes the field noticing the lack of fans…

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JD Drew: This is no Ballpark. It's a tomb.

The Sox watch the Rays take batting practice and are impressed.


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JD Drew: They have a potential MVP!


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CarlCrawford: RRAAARRRWWW!


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BigPapi: Let them Come. There is one DH yet in Tropicana who still can hit those walkways.


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Tek: Be on your guard. There are Younger and fouler things than an impressive lineup in the deep places of Tampa. Who is pitching for them tonight?


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Kazmir: RRRAAARRRWWW!


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Tek: Lead them on Lowell. The end of the season is near.


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Lowell: Huh?


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Tek: Home Runs are no more use here! (Tek leaves the team and approaches Kazmir)


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Tek: You can not win! I am the captain of the Red Sox, Leader of Team USA. The leftie curveball will not avail you! Power of Switch-Hitting! Go back to the Bullpen! You Shall Not WIN!


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(Tek looks back at the rest of the Sox)


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Tek: WIN, you fools!

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