Lord of the Red Sox 4, Last March of the Red Sox

So when I started this crazy Lord of the Red Sox thing I had a method to my madness in assigning the roles. The 9 members of the Fellowship were going to be the 9 batters in the sox lineup, and other major characters in the movie would be the starting pitchers, with minor roles going to bench / bullpen players. Schilling had to be Theoden...the once proud King of Rohan. That being the case Eomer had to be Beckett. Treebeard was a major player in the movie so he had to be a starter, I had plans for Wake (King of the Dead) and Lester (Eowyn) so that left Dice-K. The major villians of the Lord of the Rings were assigned to Yankee players and coaches, Sauron was Steinbrenner, Saruman was Torre, The Witch King was Jeter...
The Sox had won the prior nights game against Tampa, and as long as the Sox were winning I had to continue...
Ok back to the story...

Last March of the Red Sox

Scene: Red Sox locker room before tonight’s game. Lowell, Papi and Lugo are standing together talking and Beckett walks over.


Beckett: What did you three, a DH, Third-baseman and Shortstop do to score so many runs last night. Speak quickly!


BigPapi: Tell me your secrets Pitch-master and I shall tell you mine.



Beckett: I’d strike you out easy, were we facing each other.



Lugo: I’d steal second before your first strike fell in.



Lowell: Lugo enough! We are all friends here with a common goal. (To Beckett) We put some hits together and knocked a couple out of the park it’s that simple. We are on a long journey, but need all of our bats to perform. I sent Coco over too talk to Manny and see if he would play tonight. Now I can’t find either of them…have you seen them?


BigPapi: Two guys. One with dreads and the other with a Half-fro. Have yah seen ‘em?



Beckett: I too busy remembering last nights pitching. We slaughtered them to the man. No, but I’ve been all around the locker room, they are not here.


Meanwhile in the Red Sox Bullpen. Manny and Coco are talking to Dice-K about tonight’s game, as Dice-K is glancing through the sports section of the local paper.


Manny: So by taking the Wild Card and not the AL East, we will be sure of winning the World Series. The closer we are to being eliminated, the better we will play. It’s the last thing the Yankees will expect.


Coco: Are you mad? We need Dice-K to start pitching better to secure the Wild Card. If he doesn’t, we will be caught for sure.



Dice-K: I always like coming south, feels like pitching in Japan. Although all I read about in the sports section is the HGH stuff.



Manny: You know half the Yankees are on the stuff, right?


Dice-K: What! Some of those players were my friends. Guys I had known from little league.



Manny: I’m sorry Dice-K.



Dice-K: TORRE! A Manager should know better! There is no curse in Japanese, Spanish or the many tongues of English for this treachery.

The rest of the Red Sox bullpen pitchers pack up their gear and head to the dugout.


Manny: Hey why you guys leaving?


Coco: Where are they going?


Dice-K: They have to save their arms for the Yankees. My business is with Tampa Bay tonight, with a complete game and a shut out.


Dice-K: Hroom, hm, come my friends. The Red Sox are going to war! We shall not stop until we are World Series Champs! The last march of the Red Sox!